Chase Fireflies


About Living and Dying

The dermatologist says that she has no choice but to biopsy three suspect areas.  And I have laid down on that table before, with the white roll of paper underneath.  And the incisions become routine over the years.  Waking up to the morning sun and living and dying. 

This life is about living and dying.

And I would be lying to you if I told you I wasn’t afraid on that table, with needles and scalpels around.  I cannot leave the surgical room yet.  I get dressed and I sit there in the chair and breathe.  Living and dying, living and dying. 

This life is about living and dying. 

For a moment so brief , I hate melanoma.  I do not like having to be afraid of what this skin is harboring.  I am full of fear and anger and remorse and shame.  And I am afraid for my husband and kids and family.  Living and dying, living and dying. 

This life is about living and dying.

But how can I live without death being a part of me?  And is it the Melanoma that will kill me?  Or gripping fear itself?  Or maybe living as if what my eyes can see is all there really is?  There is much cancer to be removed from this body and you know what?   It doesn’t look like Melanoma at all. 

All that is lethal needs cut out so that life goes on with the living.

And how can I die without having had lived?  To know the freedom of Christ.  To live arms wide opened, head held back, a steadfast gaze on the One who loved my soul.  To have loved and to know tears and to have fought hard and to have fallen hard and to have crossed the finish line and to be present and to stare at fears and win. 

This life is about living and dying.  And just for the record, I intend to live and die each day.  God has been so good to me. 

I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.  -John 12:24

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Hodgepodge Love


“An authentic life is the most personal form of worship.”  -Sarah Ban Breathnach

There are no real accomplishments apart from relationship:  Ann Voskamp 

“I don’t want to know about trafficking, but I do know about it and as a Christian, I feel like I have to respond to that” :  The New Christian Abolition Movement

Stare up at the sky and let yourself be:  Making the Most of Creative Time

Paul is going to LOVE these:  Frosted Cookie Cups

Life giving Words:  Why I Tell My Girls They are Beautiful Often…

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IJM Global Prayer Gathering


Anyone interested in attending this?  I am on the wait list and am really hoping to make it off.  We have heard incredible things about this conference.  It’s a weekend of worship, prayer, and stories of redemption and rescue.

IJM field staff will be sharing about God’s intervention on the frontlines of this fight against trafficking.  In addition, urgent international challenges and needs will be addressed.  If you are the slightest bit interested, please email me and get your name on their wait list right away.  Thanks, friends.


Orange Julius (Kids in the Kitchen)


 I am pumping my kids (and myself) with a steady I.V. of Vitamin C.  We are ready to be healthy again, so please tell me that Orange Julius has some measure of health value?  Even if it doesn’t, this recipe was a good one. 

 The kiddos loved blendering 🙂  it all together and slurping it down.  I personally loved the flashback to 7th grade, buying an Orange Julius and an Auntie Anne’s pretzel with my pegged jean friends at the mall:) 

Orange Julius

6 ounces frozen orange juice concentrate, no sugar added
1 cup lowfat or skim milk
1 cup water
1/4 cup powdered sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
10-12 ice cubes
orange slices for looks

Combine all the ingredients except the ice cubes in a blender and process until smooth and frothy. Add the ice cubes and blend until smooth (you can blend to your desired consistency.)

recipe source:  mel’s kitchen cafe

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What Love Looked Like

This Valentine’s Day, love looked like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in lunchboxes and cheering in the stands for a certain 6 foot red headed coach and the team that he loves.  Love was being together; on the bleachers, with a court in the middle of us, in the loudest gym. 

Love looked like Amoxicillin, boxes of tissues, curled up under fleece blankets, an all night allergic reaction, and a call to Children’s. Love looked like a hand to hold because two are better than one. 

Love looked like the Word taking on richer meaning.   Becoming flesh and bones and sensitive beating heart and beautiful scarred hands.  Love is always God walking through our every darkness and making it as bright as day. 

Love looked like life in Him.  Dwelling with Him, seeing glory where I wasn’t looking.  Those are the best kinds of glory sightings, after all.   

I think this may rank up there as one of my  favorite Valentine’s Days, when all is said and done.  Or maybe, just the most unique:) 


Gratitude beginnings


Her paper pale skin tells me that something is wrong.  But those clouded eyes;  they plead without words to make all things well again. 

And so it is all too easy.  A routine call and a ten minute drive to the doctor.  A sparce waiting room, a brief exam, a simple diagnosis. 

We stand waiting at that pharmacy and we look at shelf after shelf of meds.  And tears come to my eyes and I wipe them away and away.  Because this is America and look at all of our medicine.  And I could have chosen to have never gotten out of my car to get what my little girl needs. 

Gratitude finds me here.  Mostly, because stories like this have been told.  And yet if I’m really listening, gratitude should not be where their story ends.  Shame on me if my own personal gratitude becomes the last word spoken. 

Frederick Buechner said that compassion is the sometimes fatal capacity for feeling what it is like to live inside somebody else’s skin. It’s the knowledge that there can never really be any peace and joy for me until there is peace and joy finally for you too.

So the question becomes, how do I live today to promote that peace? 
Oh God, help us me not to be blind to the needs of others.  Forgive me and make me altogether different.  Altogether, much more like You.

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Awesome Cinnamon Roll Bites (Kids In the Kitchen)

All I’m going to say is that these are awesome.  You have to try them!  I typically do not eat sweet breakfast treats, but I made an exception for one of these.  They looked so good.  (And then I ate another and another!)  So yummy – especially paired with coffee. 

The kids didn’t help me make this recipe because they were snoozing.  But it would be an age appropriate one for sure, which is why I am referencing in the Kids in the Kitchen category.  Nice and easy, quick (20 min start to finish), and delicious to boot.  Let me know if you try them!

Mini Cinnamon Roll Bites

1 can refrigerated biscuits (we used Pillsbury Grands)
6 tablespoons butter
1/3 cup brown sugar, packed
1 tablespoon sugar
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1 cup powdered sugar
1/2 teaspoon vanilla
1  1/2 tablespoons milk

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Melt the butter in a small bowl; add in brown sugar, sugar and cinnamon. Cut the biscuits into quarters, and drop them into the mixture and place in thirds in well greased muffin pan.

Bake for 10-14 minutes until tops are golden brown.  Mix powdered sugar, vanilla and milk in small bowl until combined. Drizzle over the bites. Serve warm.

adapted from


Fun Girl Hair – That’s All

I’m still learning how to fix a little girl’s hair.  I am a ponytail kinda girl when I do my hair.  When I don’t do my hair, it’s the old Red Sox hat.  Alas, the little one has been been pouring over hairstyles in books and magazines. 

So this is one of our most recent favorites.  We split Selah’s hair into random segments and created little braids.  Once her hair was completely braided, we bobby pinned it all up and all over the place in every direction.  I wish I had gotten a picture of the back.  It was super cute and fun! 

In any event, we got to take in an awesome college basketball game that day as a family.  Great seats.  Great atmosphere.  Great win.  But what mattered most to Selah was her hair:)  It helps me to remember that it’s the little things.  Always, the little things.

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Hodge Podge Love

Lest there be any question!  Let’s go Pats!

One of the BEST articles I’ve ever read.   The Ancient Solution for Future Generations

 Teaching Adden this, especially:  Choose Your Heroes Carefully 

Try this queso blanc dip (so goooood!), among other delish stuff:  Superbowl Ideas

And the laundry waited, happily:  What’s Happened to Play

Great for a long car ride:  Books Should Be Free