My mom makes me laugh. Though she would never admit it, she has the worst ADD. Our conversations are rapidfire stories and questions interspersed with her driving while she’s on the phone, taking her contacts out, changing a cd, and fixing her heel. Today, she threw out a gem of a backhanded compliment in the midst of how to cook pork tenderloin so that it’s melt in your mouth, raves of the new Iway bridge, my brother’s incredible sense of humor, and Selah’s cognitive developmental milestones. Please enjoy.
“Kristin, have you been doing anything different to your face?”
“No, mom. Why do you say that?”
“Well, I mean, did you have anything different done to your face?”
“Mom, I’m not sure what you mean exactly. How much can you do or have done to your face without like some sort of weird injections or something? My face is the same.”
“So, you didn’t have anything pulled, burned, or waxed off your cheeks or anything?”
“Gosh, mom. No. Maybe my upper lip and my eyebrows but not my cheeks. Why is that?”
“Well, let me just say that your cheeks look great honey. The best I’ve ever seen them. They are far less hairy than they used to be.”